Contacts and channels
When someone asks you to stop writing
Telling apart what you can stop sending from what must still be communicated, and through which channel.
Sooner or later someone replies to a reminder with "stop writing to me". It may be an irritated individual, an overloaded supplier, or someone who no longer handles that matter. The right reaction is not the same in all three, and confusing them produces either a relationship problem or a breach.
The three requests that look alike
| What they say | What they usually mean | What to do |
|---|---|---|
| "Stop writing to me" | Stop chasing me about something that is not mine | Find out who handles it and move the request |
| "Write to me somewhere else" | Change channel, not stop receiving | Change the channel and record it |
| "I do not want you using my data" | Exercising a right, which is different | Treat it as such, not as unsubscribing |
Important
The first is by far the commonest and rarely means what it looks like: **the person is not rejecting you, they are telling you that matter is not theirs**. Stopping without finding out who handles it solves nothing — the document still does not arrive and now you do not know who to ask.
What must still be communicated
Watch out
Some communications are not commercial chasing but part of a relationship: a contractual notice, an expiry warning affecting their access, a notification the contract requires in writing. **Those remain necessary even if the person would rather not receive them**, and what changes is the channel and the tone, not whether they are sent. If someone asks to receive nothing and something must still be communicated, say so explicitly: "I will keep sending you this because the contract requires it".
How to handle it so nothing is lost
- 1
Note it in their record, not in your head
Unrecorded, the next colleague writes to them again within a month.
- 2
Change channel before stopping communication
Many people who do not want emails will answer a phone message.
- 3
And find the replacement in the same conversation
"No problem, who handles it now?" resolves 80% of cases in one message.
If it is an individual and it concerns their data
The key is not mixing the two: switching off their reminders and considering a data request handled is what turns a simple matter into a formal complaint.
Worth knowing
Someone no longer receiving your alerts does not change what you asked them for or the deadlines: the request stays open and keeps running. What changes is how they are chased, not whether they are.
›Can alerts be switched off for one contact only?
Yes, and it is worth noting why and since when.
›What if they are my only contact at that company?
Then the problem is not the channel: ask for the right contact before you stop writing.
›Does changing channel count as an action?
The message you send through the new channel counts like any send; changing the preference does not.
A real case
The situation
An administrator at a supplier replies "stop writing to me" to a reminder.
What you do
- They ask who handles it now in the same reply
- They record the change in the supplier's record
What you get
The request reaches the right person and nobody writes again to someone it never concerned.
The situation
Somebody asks not to receive more and is written to anyway.
What you do
- Records the request and respects it
What you get
The notice stops going out.
The situation
The request comes by phone and is not recorded.
What you do
- Records the request on the contact
What you get
The preference outlives the conversation.
The situation
It is respected on one channel and not another.
What you do
- Applies the preference across all channels
What you get
The request is genuinely met.
The situation
You need to write to them about something obligatory.
What you do
- Distinguishes the operational from the dispensable
What you get
Only what must be sent is sent.
The situation
Somebody else at the company does want to receive.
What you do
- Records the preference per person
What you get
Each one receives what they asked for.
This article answers
- a contact asks me to stop writing
- stop sending reminders to a person
- they ask me to call instead of email
- removing someone from notifications